


Out on a ledge

by CALLEN37



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 18:50:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1176621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CALLEN37/pseuds/CALLEN37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deeks is tired and he goes home, but wakes up in a surprising place. Based on two photographs of EcO and CO'D on ledges. Warning contains suicidal themes. rated T for language. ONE SHOT</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out on a ledge

**Out on a ledge.**

He had no idea how he had gotten here.

One moment he had been at home, relaxing after a case; flicking through TV Channels until he reached the horror channel.

He had got up to answer the call of nature intending to find something more relaxing when he got back.

The next he was standing phone in hand on the ledge of a building.

"Deeks." He could hear the voice but it seemed far away, someone was calling him.

"Deeks don't move we're coming for you."

* * *

Callen had still been at ops when he'd gotten the call.

He'd looked down at his cell phone, surprised to find Marty calling him at nearly midnight.

He answered the phone and listened, "I can see him, he's with Sam." The hushed voice of Marty came over the phone like he wasn't talking to him.

Callen put the phone on speaker and ran up to ops.

Eric was about to leave, "Eric trace this." He ordered and put the phone on the table.

Eric ran a trace his fingers flying over the keyboard. "I've got him on a traffic cam." He said.

Eric looked up, "Er…Callen? There's no one with him?" Eric said confused.

They watched as Deeks walked blindly out of his building leaving his door open, Eric got a view of the inside, there was no one in there, but there was a picture on the TV. A Dentist with a drill.

Callen picked up the phone. "Deeks…" Deeks didn't even look at the phone.

"Damn, Eric call Hetty, I'm going after Deeks." Callen said. He ran down the stairs, jumping the last two. "Keep sending me his co-ordinates!" he yelled up the stairs, causing two junior agents to jump as he ran past them.

He grabbed the keys to an agency car and drove off in the direction that Eric sent him.

* * *

"He's still moving he's on Hollywood and Vine," Eric said into Callen's earwig he'd grabbed off the table during his hasty exit out of the building.

"Mr. Callen, have you caught up with Mr. Deeks yet?" Hetty asked.

"No, I've tried, I have his phone on speaker, and he keeps talking about Sidarov and Sam…and Saving Michelle." Callen said worried. "Ok Eric, I'm here…I can't see him, where is he?" he asked as the sun started to clear over the horizon.

"He's there…right there…" Eric said looking at the dot that represented Deeks on the map, they were right on top of each other, "How can you not see him, he's right there?" Eric queried looking at his screen.

"He's not?" Callen looked around frantically.

"I let him down, I didn't mean to let you down Sam…I'm sorry, I couldn't stop the drill…it hurts…please I just need it to stop, I need to stop the pain." Deeks' voice came over the earwig and in Ops where Hetty and Eric were looking at each other in worry.

* * *

"Morning?" Nell said brightly as she walked in, She stopped as she saw the scene on the big screen, Callen was pacing down the street looking scared.

"What's going on?" she asked Hetty.

Hetty shook her head and Nell ran to the balcony to call Kensi and Sam who had just arrived.

"Eric…" Callen stopped and looked up, "Oh my God, NO!" he exclaimed, He took off running into a nearby building.

"Mr. Callen what is it?" Hetty asked.

"Eric patch me through to Deeks' phone." Callen panted as he ran up the stairs.

"Deeks…Deeks…Don't move man, whatever you do, DO NOT MOVE!" he said.

"Cal….Callen?" Deeks asked he looked at the phone in his hand and then at his surroundings, still in the same daze. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean for Sam to die, this shouldn't have happened I tried so hard, Sam was right I don't have what I takes to do this." Deeks shook his head and moved further on the ledge, "No…Sidarov…I don't know about Quinn, I only know about David, Quinn isn't an agent…She isn't…isn't…" he sank into a sitting position on the ledge cradling his head and crying.

* * *

Sam, Kensi and Nell walked in to see what was happening.

"Deeks, man, Sam is safe, and Quinn is safe you never gave them up." Callen was saying.

"Not trustworthy, Sam said that, he was right, Not…Never gave her up…not as strong as Callen, not as smart as Kensi, not as strong as Sam…Not good enough…not…" he was rocking on the ledge and Kensi gave a gasp of terror.

"Deeks!" she called into the air, knowing the microphones in Ops would relay her message. "Deeks don't move, come back to me…please come back to me." She begged.

"Not good Kensi, you left…they all leave, I'm not good enough for them to stay."

Eric looked at Hetty with horror, he had thought Deeks was sleepwalking, stuck in a nightmare, but no Deeks was awake.

"Deeks, I'm nearly there." Callen said as he stepped out on the ledge.

"No…Save Sam…the team need him." Deeks begged.

"We need you too." Callen argued as he inched his way along the ledge.

"No you don't you don't want me on your team, you said so." Deeks argued. He looked at his phone shaking his head and tossed it over the ledge.

* * *

"I have to stand up now…it's nearly 7am." Deeks said his eyes glassy and unfocused.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Callen asked as he stood by his friends' side.

"He said at 7am the pain would end. That if I took the final step, I would be free and Sam and Quinn would be safe."

"Michelle, Sam's wife is Michelle." Callen corrected.

"No…HE said Quinn?" Deeks said shaking his head.

Callen looked behind him at the window where an LAPD officer and a couple of paramedics were waiting.

Callen waved them back any unnecessary movement right now and it wouldn't be good.

"He?" Callen asked Deeks.

Deeks laughed, "Sidarov…HE called me…From Hell."

"You know he's dead, you killed him, with Sam and Michelle…remember Deeks." Callen prodded.

Deeks laughed manically, "I know he's dead, I'm not crazy but he was on my phone, he talked to me through my TV screen, I can still see him! SEE!" Deeks pointed to a TV screen in a building across from where they were standing, "He was right there!"

He couldn't stop the tears now, "He says he'll kill Kensi…He says he knows all about me, how I hurt people, how I let them down, how I'm not good enough…He knows…He knows what I did…to my father…he knows about my mother…he knows EVERYTHING!" he screamed the last word as he wobbled on the ledge.

* * *

"Deeks wait please." Callen begged, "Hetty can fix it. She can make it stop." He grasped at the one person he knew in Deeks' mind was unfaultable.

"She can?" Deeks waivered looking across the street at the big screen TV opposite.

"Look at me, Trust me Deeks." Callen said.

Eric was checking feeds and Nell sat down with him, "Deeks is telling the truth there was a picture of Sidarov on that screen." He said.

Nell looked up, "LAPD called, they just checked out Deeks' apartment, he has a half drunk bottle of whiskey on his table, it has traces of a narcotic in it and a label that says from Kensi." She told them.

"I never sent him a bottle, much less a drugged one." She said scared.

"He said I was the weak link, the pawn in the game." Deeks slurred.

"Pawn?" Hetty said.

Callen looked up, "Hetty, check see if Janvier had access to any one in the last week." Callen ordered not caring right then what he said to her.

Hetty looked over at Nell who nodded, "He requested access to a prison Chaplin." She told him.

"Deeks where were you last night, before you went home?"

"I went to the shelter…like always, helped out…spoke to the Chaplain…He saw Kensi…gave me a present from her…I like her." He giggled.

"You drank the whiskey?" Callen asked.

"I've not been sleeping, it helped…It will help…the Chaplain said so." Deeks shook his head as his alarm went off, "Sorry Callen I gotta wake up now, Time for work." Deeks smiled and stood up taking a step off the ledge.

* * *

"DEEKS!" Callen grabbed his jacket and pulled him back his arm wrapped around his torso.

Deeks shook his head, blinking his eyes, "Callen?" he asked confused.

"Is he ok? Callen…Did you get him!" Kensi called from ops her hands tightly holding onto the desk.

"Callen?" Deeks asked, "What the hell?" he looked around.

Callen tightened his grip, "its ok I got ya, step back," Callen said,

Deeks looked at him, "Why am I on a ledge?"

"Janvier…I don't know how, but Janvier bribed a Chaplain to drug you?"

Deeks nodded looking carefully over the edge, "Ok…?" he moved closer to Callen and the wall. "Can we discuss this away from the big drop please?" he asked.

Kensi laughed in relief in ops.

"Sure, come on," Callen held on to his jacket as they both moved in the window. "I've got him, we're safe Hetty," Callen said.

"Good to hear, Mr. Callen, please accompany Mr. Deeks to the hospital to get him checked out, Mr. Hanna and Ms Blye will check out Mr. Deeks' apartment."

Deeks sat blindly on the gurney as the paramedics checked him out, he blinked a few times in disbelief, "This isn't a dream is it?" He asked

Callen smiled, "Na, more like a nightmare."

* * *

By the time Hetty arrived at the hospital, Deeks had been checked out and was sitting in a hospital bed on a saline drip.

"Mr. Deeks?" Hetty said as she walked in.

Deeks looked up, "I'm sorry Hetty. I really don't know what happened." He admitted.

"It seems that Janvier had a plan to hurt us, He targeted you with Sodium Pentothal and subliminal suggestions, The Chaplain is actually a hypnotist, he was planted to suggest to you that you were dreaming, so your nightmares became real, you followed his suggestions while under the influence of the drug."

Deeks sighed, "So I was the weakest and prone to suggestion." He said looking sadly at the drip, maybe Sam was right.

"No. but you do, do the most volunteer work and were the easiest for Janvier to find." Hetty said.

Deeks looked up as something jogged his memory.

"Hetty he knew…the thing…you know the thing you left out of my file…He…Sidarov, I mean Janvier, he knew." Deeks said.

"I remember you saying," Hetty said.

"Can he…I mean, did you stop him, or can he?" Deeks was still feeling fuzzy.

"You are safe Mr. Deeks, Mr. Hanna found the subliminal device in your apartment and he has disabled it, apparently when you used the bathroom, your TV was activated by remote control from outside your apartment and the chaplain came into your apartment, he followed you home from the shelter."

"So I can't volunteer anymore?" Deeks asked upset.

Hetty smiled, "Mr. Deeks, I believe it is safe for you to resume your life, and at least now you know that the team will always have your back and will be there for you."

"Kinda catch me when I fall?" Deeks smiled slightly.

"No, more like make sure you don't fall." Callen said sitting on the end of the bed.

Deeks leaned back and closed his eyes, it was only lunchtime and he'd already had the busiest day of his life.

"Rest now Mr. Deeks, Mr. Callen will be with you until you are discharged, I will see you tomorrow." Hetty said as she turned and left.

"Callen." Deeks said as he rested against his pillows.

"Yeah?" Callen asked.

"Thank you…Thanks for catching me, for not letting me fall." He said earnestly.

"No problem, you're part of the team, we watch out for each other." Callen said turning around and finding Deeks finally asleep on the bed.

He smiled and pulled the blanket over him, settled down into a nearby seat and watched over his friend.

"I got your back Deeks, you sleep."

"Finally." Deeks yawned and turned on his side.

 


End file.
